Issues.

We all love each other here at the Nester house...
But, that being said - we have issues.
And I'm going to get into them.
Blogging is therapeutic for me. It really is.

So, let's start with the tiny one.

We intend to adopt again in the future, so I'd like to write some of this stuff down somewhere.
Perhaps Megersa's "issues" are strictly his and his alone, but in case I run into them in a few years, I can revisit this post.
(I truly wish I had written down more of the things we struggled with when Cale was smaller - it would have really helped, and I'd look like less of a fool when people ask me things about my own son.) :)

Megersa's issues:
1. The whining.
I think I mentioned that in a previous post.
Note on that: He is now a fan of green veggies. Go figure.
Resolving it: We've decided to feed him his meal before or after ours...usually before, since we eat late some nights, and it has helped our stress levels during meals.
We're figuring he must have had the food shoveled in his mouth in ET, so maybe he's afraid if he doesn't whine for more we'll take it away. Perhaps he had that happen to him?
Who knows really.
When he's fed alone, I can just keep going until he's done. Focused attention seems to help him.
The whining outside of meals can usually be remedied by putting him to bed. He generally takes 3 naps a day. I've really only ever seen him go about 3-4 hours (sometimes only 2) between naps and that last part of it he's pretty cranky, so my best guess when he whines (for no other REAL reason) during the day is, that he's tired.
2. Food.
Apart from the aforementioned issue, he won't try to feed himself. At all.
What? We want him to feed himself?!
Folks, I know he's only 7 1/2 months, but if he can pick up a toy and bring it to his mouth, he has the capability to do it, or at least to try.
We're not trying to get out of parental responsibilities, we are just encouraging him to develop skills. The bottle thing, I feel like, had to do with the way the nannies hold the babies in ET.
I've seen pictures of the nannies holding the babies hands down away from the bottle, or behind their backs, so maybe he's reluctant to even try because of the 5 months he spent being fed that way. It's been a few days and now he'll play with the bottle and sometimes will put his hands on it when we feed him...I think it'll come in time.
The food thing though, I think is bizarre.
Actual food. Real food, mashed, cooked, uncooked...anything...he won't put in his mouth.
I bought teething biscuits and he just bangs them. If I try to put them in his mouth so he can taste them he'll turn his head away like I'm torturing him.
Same thing with a squishy banana I put on his tray today. He wouldn't let me put in near his lips. So, I put it in front of him and mashed it up on the tray. I KNOW he recognizes baby food, but he would NOT touch it. I put some on my finger and put it to his mouth, but again, he pulled the tight-lipped, head-twist move and started whining.
He will hold (play) with his own spoon, so I tried to take his hand to mimic scooping some up to feed himself, and he started bawling.
I mean, isn't this weird??
I tried again at lunch...not to torture him, but to help him understand that it's OKAY to put food in our mouths. I put the bowl on his tray so he could see it (normally I hold it), then scooped food and fed him. I gave him a different spoon and I tried to "take turns" helping him scoop, but he started flipping again! I'm so confused!!
I don't remember everything from when Cale was this age, but I DO know he loved food. He was always a MESS when we were done with meal time.

((Ohhh...I forgot to mention. After the "torture" that was lunch, I tried to keep him busy in his high chair while I washed the dishes, so I put dish soap bubbles on his tray.

Those he chose to taste, AND scoop up with a spoon to feed himself...but not food...only bubbles.)) I've also noticed that Megersa has a "nervous tick" when he's stressed or upset.
He rubs his right elbow on a surface. When we picked him up in ET I noticed the raw spot, but figured it was ezcema. It's gotten MUCH better since he's been home, but I JUST now put it together why he does it. When I was trying to 'help' him feed himself, he pulled his arms back and did the elbow thing. I thought maybe at that point in time his elbow was itchy, so I put cream on it, but as soon as I stopped "torturing him" with bananas, he stopped. But then did it again at lunch, and before nap time when I changed his diaper.
His cheeks look better, but I've really only seen him rub his cheeks when he's putting himself to sleep. He rubs them against the sheets like a cat trying to find a good spot. It's kinda funny actually. "Purr, purr...there's the spot!" Good kitty.

3. Sleep. He's waking now once a night. Fewf!
For a few nights it was at the 6am hour...then he'd go back to sleep! But the past two nights it was about 2am. Either way, one bottle a night is much better than the repeated wakings we were having initially. He's still small, so maybe he does need that nourishment at night. The doc said some babies play "catch up" when they are home for what they've missed while in the orphanage. So, I hope that in a few months I can record that he is sleeping straight through - 8p-8a. Ha ha. I know it's not likely, but one can hope, right? :) 4. Disposition.
This really isn't an "issue," but again, I want to record things the way I see them for future reference.
When I got Megersa in ET he smiled...all. the. time. He smiled at EVERYONE! He wore his heart on his sleeve! lol. And now, well, it seems as though he's reserving his smiles for Tim, Cale or I. When we take him out he just stares at people. They try to get him to smile or laugh, but he usually won't budge. If we step in and try to get him to smile, he'll 'cheese-it', but not as much for others. We had friends over last night and he mainly just stared at them.
Makes us feel good, but I would never guess that he would suddenly become reserved with others.
Do you think he's becoming 'possessive' of us in a way? Maybe possessive isn't the right word, but selective? I've left him in the nursery twice for church services and both reports were that he was pretty quiet the whole time...until the very end when he started to warm up. Hm.
Again, this isn't really an "issue" just a date and time thing.

So that's the tiny one.

What about the big fella, you ask?

WELL, Cale...
There's so much to be said about him:

1. Mischief. Totally into this "terrible 3's thing." I had a friend say to me "I don't think that the 'terrible twos' saying is correct...they're really just warming up for three."
I agree.
He's done more mischief in the couple weeks he's been 3, then I can remember in his 2nd year of life.
~Helping himself to orange juice, which he purposely or not, spilled all over our white carpet.
~Finding my gum, then eating piece after piece until he can barely chew.

~Playing in my makeup or with my jewelry any chance he gets.
~Waking up Megersa from naps then yelling, "HE'S AWAKE, MOMMY!"

It's something about the age........Yes. I'm choosing to blame it on his age. :)

2. Sleep.
Oh Cale. Always been a terrible sleeper. Usually wakes up at least once a night.
Those poor parents, right?

Not sure where we went wrong there, but he's obviously not hungry..... :)
When he was a baby, we gratified his night wakings immediately because we were weak, and figured if we gave him what he wanted, we'd all be able to go back to sleep.

And it worked; but...we're still reaping the "benefits" of that decision.
He's very much like me with his 'sleep associations.' I have several things that I need in JUST the right position/order that I will have a horrible time getting to sleep or staying asleep...
and unfortunately, I must have passed that on to Cale.
I need 4, strategically placed pillows. 2 small ones on either side of me, 1 under my head, 1 under or between my legs (for hip support). I need to have a small, folded blanket over my face. I need my favorite blanket and I must be wearing a tank top with pajama pants. I also need a fan on, and to fall asleep BEFORE Tim does.
Cale needs:
His fan on, his music, his blanket. he WANTS his binky (we're still struggling with it), and now he needs to be tucked in. He's adding items to the routine all the time! It's hard to break him of one of them. Recently he's been wanting to add our king-sized down blanket that is used on our bed. I mean, it's just madness!

3. The binky.
Oh.....the binky. Yes, I TOTALLY agree we should have taken it from him when he was much, much younger. Never seemed like a "great" time. Of course, that's cuz we were too chicken to hear him scream about it and not give in. He uses it for naps. He will go to sleep without it (after an extended time in his room), but sometimes will wake up crying for it in the middle of the night. I'm telling ya. It's a real problem. I wanted to have it gone before we moved and brought Megersa home, but then we thought there was so much transition going on, we didn't want to make it harder.
I guess you make all the mistakes with the first one, huh?
I guess it's better than his thumb. Tim and I were talking to friends yesterday and they said that they met a teenager who was 15 and still sucking her thumb! In front of the TV no less....not a closet sucker (like one of my friends admitted she was until she was 12). So, I guess I don't feel THAT bad. Yet.
Watch, my kid will be the only one packing a binky in his suitcase for college. :) ha ha.

4. Vocab and comprehension.
He's smart as a whip as far as I'm concerned. He understands WAY more than I thought he would be able to. Today I told him that he needs to "coorperate" with me while I'm trying to dress him. Usually a new word will stop him in his tracks a little bit, and he'll refocus what he's doing. He loves to learn new words and what they mean....but apparently he already heard this one. Because he didn't stop wiggling, I asked him. "Do you know what coorperate means?" He said, "Yes, sit still." lol.

So that's the boys.
How about me?
Well, I've been learning alot about myself.
1. Temper.
I have to admit to having a shorter fuse than I'd like to at times.
'The littles' bring out the best in me, but sometimes the worst too.
I can feel my temperature rising, but I'm often slow to do anything to stop it. I should.
Tim and I were talking the other morning, and he admitted to letting himself get in a bad mood. He said he woke up and was tired, so when I brought the boys to him, he chose to stay in that 'funk.' It made the morning worse. I often feel that way.
Like this past Monday.
We had planned to go somewhere as a family...a family date, as I affectionately call them.
I love family dates. To wherever. Some of the best family dates have been to Costco for samples and hot dogs. :)
But the boys were just NUTS that morning. It was crazy. Tim and I took turns going "we're not going anywhere in public with either of them" so we decided to stay home. At about 11am I decided that we we're gonna get through the day without help!! I told Tim to bring down Cale's boom box and I blasted the Christian radio station and we had an impromptu 'dance party.'
It saved the day.
Seriously! Cale got REALLY happy and started dancing and singing along to all his favorite songs, Megersa was engaged, and both Tim and I felt better. We ended up having a much nicer afternoon. Both boys went down for naps together and after dinner we went out for ice cream.
I guess I should think on my feet more.
The music helped calm and refocus me as well.
I very much like the Christian radio station. The music is great and I love the blurbs they have in between songs.
Today I heard this lady say that when she gets stressed, she thinks about her daughter that passed away. She went on to say that her daughter was mentally and physically handicapped and that she died at age 22, but that she was the most vibrant, beautiful person she ever knew.
That stopped me in my tracks.
My children are handsome, spirited, and HEATHLY. But those are the days I forget that gifts such as these can be taken away. I love that God gently reminds me of the bigger picture in small ways like the Christian radio stations.

2. Exercising.
I enjoy it. Alone.
Tim and I recently started jogging because we got an email from his parents saying that they had a beach house reserved for the Nester family vacation June 12-19!
A 6 bedroom beach-front house in North Carolina! We are sooooo excited!
With that, we looked at ourselves and at each other, and decided that we are not swim-wear ready...(We haven't been for quite some time)...but we made the decision that we will NOT be the 'chubby ones' on vacation.
The first few times I ran with the boys. Megersa HATED it the first day. For the entire 40 minutes he cried. (Well, a mixture of crying/whining.) I thought the next day I'd bring him a bottle "just in case" - and even though I fed him a bottle before we left, he still ended up drinking that one. He started crying again, but after 5 minutes, I stopped short...propped the bottle up to the side and kept going. He sucked on it for almost 30 minutes, but then was fine.
Since then I've not taken the boys. Tim said that Megersa was fine when he took them, so maybe he just needed to get past....whatever it was. (Trying to see if Mommy's head will explode, maybe?)
Anyway, I very much like to go out alone. I'm secretly digging these jogs. I'm not sure how far I'm jogging, but I've gone further each day. There are so many places around here to discover.
I put my earphones in, turn my IPOD on, and just go.
I am in love with listening to sermons as I jog....specifically Pastor Steve from Colonial Baptist Church in NC. He has the perfect topic, volume, and emphasis...totally engaging.
As I mentioned once before, sometimes at church I feel unnerved answering people when they as me how I am...because I'm tired.
Well, Sundays is the day I should be focused and ready for a sermon. But, when Pastor Guy starts his sermon, I find myself struggling to focus. NOT because he's not interesting...but because the room is kinda dark, I'm all cozy, and I'm pooped from a hectic morning.
But when I run - I'm out in the fresh air...ALONE...focused.
And let's face it - it's an easy way to distract yourself from what you're doing! :)
UNFORTUNATELY, my ankle is prohibiting true love of the escape.
The very first day I started running, I didn't really stretch out the way I should have...
And now I'm paying for it. Dearly. Each run after that (and so far we've gone 7 days straight) my ankle hurt worse and worse. And after I ran yesterday, I noticed that my ankle was feeling...strange, with the pain.
If I move it around, it feels like I'm pulling old elastic. It's like I can hear it stretch...and not in a good way. Like an old spring or something....it's "icky."
It's not horribly painful, but because of the weather and Tim forbidding me to go, I didn't get to go jogging today. It hurts much worse with sneakers on anyway, so that will make a difference in how it feels when I do get to go out again.
Pray it gets better, okay? I'm jonesing for more QUIET time. :)

3. Coke.
I'm a closet coke drinker.
haha. Not really. Usually I'd say that I like Coke as much as the next guy. On average I have about 3-5 glasses of coke a week. But that's if it's in the house. If not, it's usually much less.
I figure it's not that big of a deal. I dont drink coffee, or tea. It's my only caffeine.
So where does the "closet" come in?
Well, mainly it's just funny to say - but I do tend to turn to coke when I'm stressed.
And because I can't enjoy it when Cale's around asking me for a sip every 2 minutes, I wait until the boys are asleep, or occupied.
I find myself opening more cans these days. I love it. :)
Ahhh.....sweet, sweet Coke. Cherry, if I can get it. But regular Coke is also a favorite.
No diet, thank you very much.
Why coke? Well, I dont "drink." Never have. I don't have any desire to taste alcohol...but if I did, I'm sure I'd be an alcoholic the way these boys run me ragged some days. :)
So...those are the issues. I'm sure Tim has plenty. :) Haha. I just don't know if he would like me to share.
And now, it's 9:30p...creeping up on 10, which is when my alarm goes off saying "start getting ready for bed!"
I have an alarm set, because as you know, I'm an night owl, and the later I go to bed, the earlier the boys wake up....or so it seems. :) So, I've instituted this alarm to ensure that I'd be 'starting' my bedtime routine earlier. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
But judging how today went...I'm not sure I can go to sleep just yet, knowing what's on the other side of it.
I'll think I'll watch some TV. :)