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Friday, August 20, 2010

My experience.

So far my experience with the "awkward stares" and "rude questions" has been close to none.
Sure, I get the occasional sideways glance, but to be completely honest, I've avoided direct eye contact since I was a shy teen, so I can't say I've caught any "looks gone bad."
God has protected my heart. It seems if anything, people comment on how dang cute Megersa is.
Yesterday while in Barnes and Noble a young girl asked me if both were mine. Yep.
It didn't bother me. They ARE both mine. Why would I be offended?
People are curious. I am curious when I see families of different races...I always have been. Before adopting myself, I gave looks...but looks of interest and hope that someday my family would be similar.
Anyway, this girl said something about how she wants to adopt someday. I was never so bold as to ask someone, but if I had, I probably would have said the same.
Today there was a mother-daughter couple behind us in line at Walmart. Cale, being the extremely friendly person that he is, started up a conversation with them. Starting off by asking them their names, of course. They both answered and then asked him about Megersa. "Is this your brother, or a friend?"
I told them it was his brother. Cale chimes in, never wavered..."this is my baby brother, Megersa."
The lady then proceeded to ask me if he was adopted. "Yes."
Is he from Ethiopia? she continued. "Yeah, he is." I was impressed!
Apparently her church had missions teams sent to Ethiopia on a regular basis, and she said that she could now pick out Ethiopian faces from a crowd. Very cool.
One day Tim and I and the kids were at McDonalds and a certain old gentlemen WAS giving us looks. Not snide looks, but definitely can't ignore it looks. I wondered what he was thinking. We continued our meal, and then the man came over to talk to us.
His expression was hard to read and I braced myself for something that could PERHAPS be taken as rude. I was on the defense that time, but it was fine.
He asked what "country this young fella hailed from" and we answered. He continued to tell us that he had 2 children adopted from different areas of the world, and that several other of his extended family members were also adopted internationally.
So, thus far...in the 5 months and 1 week Megersa has been home, I have gotten comments and looks...but nothing rude. Nothing unfortunate thus far. I'm sure it is coming someday, but I hope that when it does I can answer knowing that MOST people aren't TRYING to be ignorant...they are curious. And, they may have a good reason for being curious. Maybe they want to adopt someday. Maybe they are interested in the country from which your child is born, or MAYBE they give you looks because they remember rearing children transracially and are blessed to see young couples doing it too.

Monday, August 16, 2010

morning date gone bad

I had an early doctors appointment this morning.
When I came back I was ready for the day, but it was clear that other members of my household were not. Megersa was cranky and ready for a nap...my darling hubby was still "testing out" his new NFL football game (he's TOTALLY in football mode awaiting the new season)...but Cale.
Oh Cale.
My shopping buddy.
This kid would shop with me all day long. Seriously.
He doesn't care where either - WalMart, Target, Costco, Kohls, Home Depot, The Dollar Tree...
Anywhere, really.
He loves to be out and about with me.
So, I enticed him to get dressed and put his shoes on so we could go "to the store!"
YAY!! :)
We stopped at The Dollar Tree first. A Cale favorite. I have about 6 family members with birthdays in early Sept, and cards at the dollar tree are 50 cents a peice. Can't beat that! Especially since most people throw them out.
Generally, as a note, when we got to the dollar tree, which isn't too often, Cale gets to pick out a "prize" if he'd been good that day.
Today he picked a helium balloon.
Despite my prompting to get something a little less girly, he chose a "Happy Birthday" balloon with painted flowers and butterflies. Oh well. (I actually think it's kinda funny.)
He carried it around the store. He even managed to carry to the car unassisted, though I really wanted to hold the end of the string for him "just in case."
I won the battle about keeping the windows shut, even though Cale had carefully placed the balloons string under the flap of the cupholder assuring me at the top of his lungs "it WON'T blow away!!"
We tied it to the headrest as we went to Walmart. All was good.
We had fun in the store and I kept thinking how much easier it is with only one child at the store. I mean, sure, it's normally just one more...but double the body - double the drama.
Plus, Megersa doesn't enjoy the shopping experience as much as big brother.
I got everything on my list...with several 'bonus' items (as I always end up doing). I'm not exactly sure how it happens, but a list of 8 items usually multiplies to at least twice that.
We checked our blood pressure. Mine - 114 over 66, heart rate 71.
Cale...well, his was hard to read since his arms are too short and he realized that red buttons mean stop - and this rule is universal. :)
They had a new display thing to help sell Dr. Schole's foot soles. It was actually kinda cool - they could predict where your pressure points were based on how your feet rubbed the gel pad you stood on.
When Cale stepped on, the little screen kept popping up "we are having a hard time getting a reading on your foot" - well, #1 his feet were WAY too small, and #2, his feet wouldn't stop moving.
So, fast forward.
Why did it go bad?
Well, we came home. My hands were full of grocery bags, and I warned Cale to keep a "tight hold" on his balloon. He did. We walked into the house and I asked Tim to get the rest of the bags. Cale followed him, balloon in hand.
He walked into the garage with Tim.......and like slow motion...he let go of his grip.
Tim said as soon as he heard Cale yelling, he jumped up to try and catch it; but by that point, it was already almost 10 feet up........
I was inside putting things away when all of this happened, and all I could hear was a pitiful scream and then "Well, now we have to just watch it fly higher and higher."
Cale melted. He was inconsolable.
Poor fella. I mean, I knew at some point in his life, it was gonna happen.
And part of me kinda thinks that most kids need to experience something like that so that they remember to HOLD TIGHT to things they dont want to lose.
But the softer side of me wanted to cry with him. I mean, there's no getting it back.
We offered another balloon, but apparently no other balloon could match the 'pink circle happy birthday' one he chose especially for himself.
Eventually he did concede to eating lunch and seemed to perk up a little as agreed that it was so nice for giving his balloon to Jesus.
But the rest of the day was a little bit harder for it.
Moral of the story: Hold tight to things you love. :)

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Things I love.

Describe yourself.
When I see this statement, I generally dont care to answer.
I'd like to give all the things I like about myself and nothing else...but of course, that wouldn't be truth.
I know that I am generally an easy-going person. I've been told I am funny (thanks!), and fun to hang out with. :)
These are good things. However, I DO know that I can be sarcastic at times....
REALLY??
See, it's true.

Often, when I read back through my posts I tend to chuckle at the way I experienced the event....or the way I have described what in my life was taking place at the time.
At some points though, I find myself thinking...hm...I'm a bit sarcastic. and pessimistic.
True again.

The stories I tell about my kids - while they may be true, ((when Cale rubs boogers and nose blood all over his bedroom wall, or how the stench from Megersa's diaper radiates through the hall, down the stairs, into the living room and up my nose!)) they are not the ONLY stories I have of them...I have good things to say. Good, without the "biting witt" part.

So, I'm gonna tell you about the things that make me tear up...in a good way.
I'm gonna try-on "Sentimental Sally" for this post and hope that I don't lose myself. :)
Yes. I can be a sentimental person at times. Honest.

I love the way Cale snuggles up next to me when we're watching a movie together. It's literally as close as he can get without actually sitting on me.
I love how adorable Megersa looks in his infant car seat, as he crosses his legs and plays with his feet, all scrunched up in the fetal position.
I love the way Cale waves hello or goodbye. Fingers tightly pressed together, and hand pivoting east and west from the wrist.
I love how just LOOKING at Megersa is as good as a marriage proposal. :) And if you give him the invitation to "come here" he'll grin so big you see all four teeth, and both sets of gums. (I have literally never seen a person smile so big.)
I love how Cale likes to learn new words. He'll catch you if you try to slip in an unfamiliar word in a casual conversation and grill you for it's meaning. He's a sponge!!
I love that Megersa communicates in forceful breaths. He has a different grunt when he's excited, displeased, hungry, tired, or "fighting" with Cale.
I love bath time. Whenever either of them hear the bath water it's a race to the tub! Cale strips down so quickly he's likely to get a brushburn...and Megersa starts sucking on the outside of the tub waiting for me to disrobe him and help him in.
I love the positions Cale gets himself into while sleeping. It makes me laugh to see him with his body on the bed and his legs off the side. (It's adorable...though I'd never wanna share a bed with him.)
I love when Megersa claps. No, not just claps....applauds. The other night Tim gently hummed a tune to him while rocking him before bed. Sensing Megersa was asleep, he stopped. As soon as he did, Megersa perked up, looked back, and clapped for him. .....And the other day, Cale was in his room (not napping), singing "Twinkle twinkle little star" and Megersa was at the base of the steps, clapping for him.
I love that LOVE is color-blind. Despite any stares I may get from onlookers, it doesn't phase Cale. "See my brother? His name is Megersa. He's a baby."
I love that Megersa gives away his intentions by giggling as he moves. If he sees something he wants to pick up - like a penny, or a peice of garbage, he'll giggle himself silly as he crawls toward it. (Makes it pretty easy to get there first. ;)
I love to see them make each other laugh. There is a special language between them which Tim and I cannot understand. Though at times it is ear-piercing; it is very special to them.

I love those 2 crazy monkeys!
Now, I can't promise that any future posts will be any more tender, but I'll try to slip on Sally in posts now and again. :)

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I have a dog...and a cat.


Coming to grips with reality, I guess it's time to admit that not only do I have a husband, and 2 young sons; but I have recently aquired a dog and a cat.
I've mentioned before I don't care for pets that I can pet.
But, I have them:
A "doggie" and a "kitty cat," to be exact.
Really? What are thier names?
"Doggie...and Kitty Cat."

Cale named them.........because Cale IS them.

Seriously....he's the ultimate pretender these days. I read in one of my parenting books, or magazines...(some sort of article on 3-year-olds), that around his age is when you start to notice your kids playing with 'imaginary friends.' The writing went into detail of how they are important to your child and their developement...etc, etc.
I thought, yeah, true...but Cale doesn't have any.
However, as I continued to read...I swear this was the last line of the paragraph (as if it makes perfect sense, yet without describing its nature in reality) - "Some children do not have imaginary friends. Some children will pretend they are other creatures, specifically animals, like dogs and cats."
Oh, reeeeeeeeeeally?
Lightbulb.
I don't know...did Cale read this article a few months ago and decided that this was his preferred route of imagination? Did he already know that stepping in and out of characters would be hard for his mother to follow?
Maybe.
Maybe not.
Cale spends probably half of his awake time as Cale. "I'm Cale, Mommy." ((Oh good, I breathe)) and the other half as Doggie. Or Kitty Cat.
"I'm a doggie, Mommy...I'm a doggie." "I'm a kitty cat."
Cute, right?
Yes.
But also a little bit stressful. ;)
He will NOT. I repeat, will NOT answer to the "wrong" name. And his 'off' button to stop repetition is broken. He doesn't care how many times he tells us. I'm a kitty cat Mommy, I'm a kitty cat. Mommy, I'm a kitty cat! I'm a kitty cat!! Mommy!!! I'm a kitty cat!!

Answer him, why don't I?! (Is that what you're thinking?)
I DO!!! Almost every time! He's incessant!!
And I'm not sure what sort of validation he's looking for?!
DO YOU KNOW?? CAN YOU HELP?
Are your children pets? What do you do?
Food in a bowl on the floor? Petting them? A nametag?
I've actually tried some of these...
Now, don't get me wrong, I appreciate his imagination...and it's actually quite comical to see people try and talk to "Cale" when he is 'doggie' or 'kitty'....
I just need to know how to get him to switch gears: when I want him to go potty, or change his clothes.....or eat at the table.
What's the secret? Doggie treats?! :)
You're laughing, aren't you??

I'm not sure how long this phase will last. I can remember thinking that his obsession with plugs wouldn't never pass, but it did....
So until then, I welcome suggestions as to how I can house-train these animals.
Thankfully he hasn't researched dogs or cats much, and my 2 new animals don't yet pee on the floor, or shed, or jump up, or lick people.... ;)

I'll close with this, just for fun:
"I'm a doggie, Mommy. I'm a doggie. I'm a kitty cat. I'm a KITTY CAT, Mommy!! I'm NOT Cale, I'm a kitty cat! Daddy, I'm a doggie. I'm a doggie. I'm a doggie, Mommy! Daddy, I'm Cale. Mommy, I'm not Cale, I'm a kitty cat. I'm a kitty cat Mommy. meew, meew (but his meow...is a whine...which makes it worse). I'm a kitty cat..........I'm a DOGGIE! I'm a doggie, Daddy! Daddy...Daddy, I'm a doggie. I'm a doggie........."

Oh, I'm sorry...was that stressful? :)

Sunday, August 1, 2010

out of the mouth of babes....

(In the car on the way to the YMCA:)
Cale: Can I take my shoes off?
Me & Tim: You can take them off when you get to the play room at the Y.
Cale: I don't wanna wear my shoes. I wanna go "bearfart!!"

(((YEP, it was funny the first time he said it - but the next 100 times...not so much. :)))




(...this one could have been awkward if it was said in public:)
Cale: Mommy, why did you shut the lid on the toilet?
Me: So Megersa doesn't fall in.
Cale: Oh, yeah. Then we wouldn't have a baby anymore. Then we'd have to buy a new baby.




(I guess not EVERYTHING goes in one ear and out the other:)
Cale: Did you just go pee-pee, Mommy?
Me: Yes.
Cale: Did you wash your hands?
Me: Yes, I did.
Cale: Did you dry your hands?
Me: Yep.
Cale: GOOD GIRL!!

(((What???)))