No.
Am I talking about the baby who still prefers not to feed himself, but sometimes will eat more than he weighs?
No.
I AM talking about the person who is still registering the fact that she's pregnant with twins.
STILL registering?
I know. It's taking me quite a bit of time!
You'd think the vomiting would tip me off....or my ever growing belly...or the fact that I'm ALWAYS hungry.
I mean all. day. long. The hunger makes me feel helpless. My stomach feels like a boiling cauldron. My brain registers the hunger when the pot is simmering...so I have precious little time to put something in it. If I wait too long, the pot boils angrily and whatever I end up throwing in it, comes back up.
It's terrible!! AHHHH!!!!!!
And for someone who would normally be able to wake up and wait to eat until I've fed my kids, showered, and had a time to relax without a growling pain in my stomach...or could walk out of the house without a snack and water bottle in her purse...this is hard.
I have recently been talking about my stomach like it's a separate entity from me. I feel like it is. I've caught myself talking (and yelling) at it too. "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!" Tim is starting to understand what I mean when I tell him my stomach is angry with me.
Maybe you're thinking, "So, you get to eat all the time...that's fun! I'd love an excuse to do that!"
Nope.
I mean, yeah, maybe it'd be fun if there was something I was interested in eating. Something...anything!! Most days I just run through the 'food diary' in my head and think briefly on a food item before my stomach tells me 'yes' or 'no..no...NO!!' ((I'm telling you - it has a mind of it's own!!!))
I do have to admit that I'm in a better spot now than I was a few weeks ago, so I have to be thankful for that. And I am. I had some dark days there for awhile...
In comparision, the nausea/vomiting is equivalent to when I was pregnant with Cale (though I'm on MUCH more medicine than I was with him, so with that, it ends up leveling out)...but I cannot even tell you how much different the hunger is this time. I don't recall this problem at all the first time around.
I guess I really am eating for 3.
And apparently, each tiny baby has a better relationship with my stomach, because they can get it angry on a 2 hour rotation, while my attempts to calm it down are being ignored! :)
It's a game of survival at this point.
I pray and thank God every night that I got through another day.
And I thank God for my husband. Even though he can't truly understand what I'm going through, he empathizes so much - especially when I'm vomiting.
He hates all things related to vomit and will let me loaf around or hibernate until I'm ready to resurface upon life.
He has been a rock.
I'm sure some day I'll look back on this post and laugh...and to ensure the laughter later on, I'm gonna post a few pics of Cale and I attempting to calm the beast.
HE loves snacking with me all day long. I'm sure he'll be upset months from now when I can eat like a regular person again...
But anyway, here we are, making, and eating Puppy Chow:
Glamorous, ain't I? :)
Oh Katie....I really feel for ya....I can't even imagine how you've made it this far and still have a pretty good sense of humor about it! ;) Morning sickness was the absolute worst for me and I rarely threw up. I guess maybe I'm a wimp because I just HATE that feeling of being even slightly sick to my stomach! =( You are indeed a trooper and you are my hero! =)
ReplyDeleteAs I was reading your post I was imagining a family picture taken after you have the babies and I just started crackin up! Here's you, and your hubby and Cale all sitting there, bigger than houses, and you are holding two tiny babies!! You being larger, because you were just post-delivery and Cale and your Hubby are on the larger side because of all the times they joined in to your eating binges too! =) Hahaha! So cute.
Have a wonderful day.....and keep feeding that grumpy "monster" of a tummy you're growing.....Yo babies is hungry Momma, they say "FEED ME" =)
<3 ya