apples.

15 weeks today!

According to babycenter a baby at 15 weeks gestation is the size of an apple.

So, I have 2 apples, and all the casing that surrounds it. I wonder if people with idental twins don't get as big... :)

And at 4 weeks they started off the size of poppy seeds. That's alot of growing to do in 3 1/2 months!! (It's that tiny black speck in the middle of my hand.)
Mixed feelings...it seems like I've known forever (we found out when I was 3 weeks pregnant), but there is SO much more to go! I look down at my belly and wonder how much bigger I'll be in another 21 weeks...21 weeks (that's soooooo far away!!)).

I have to remind myself daily that I'm having TWINS and that this is my 3rd pregnancy, so I was bound to "pop" way before I did with Cale...but it's still a little hard to take. Before finding out there was 2, I told myself that I wouldn't gain as much weight with this pregnancy as I did with Cale (between 35-40lbs)....BUT...what can I do?
Not much.

This is a test of faith, for sure.

God wants me to remain close. Allowing me to struggle with infertility took the power out of my hands. But, when I found out I was pregnant, I thought I felt a little power return...until the ultrasound tech said "it's two!" I'm learning my lesson...

God is in control.

He will help me through the ups and downs.

It hasn't been as easy as I thought it would be. Not only am I still barfing, but I still can't fully think to the exciting part of twins. My thoughts flicker back and forth, but the stars aren't shining yet.

I keep thinking...

How will I be able to tell them apart?

Nurse them?

Provide for them?

Get them on a schedule?

Keep my sanity?

Take care of my other 2?

(Insert "God is in Control" theme music here.)

But I have a wonderful husband, and a good friend that remind me "this is a blessing!" And yes, I can loose the weight after they come. It'll all work out right? :)

So, to that end I'm gonna go against my embarressment and post pictures of my ever-growing belly.

Please remember that I admitted I am NOT the tiny pregnant belly mom you see around. (Also, I'm in my jammies).

And generally I dont like bare belly pictures, but it had to be done:

This is me 6 months pregnant with Cale. Looks AWEFULLY similar to where I am now...in my 4th month. *sigh* ;)