an ocean of thoughts.

Does anyone else feel like there is a special love that is reserved for when your kids are napping? I mean, I love my boys all the time...but when they're BOTH napping - at the same time....it's bliss. I often find myself close to tears as I thank God for them, the fact that they're sleeping, and for few hours I'll be able to get things accomplished.
OR nap myself.
This has been the choice for the past few weeks. I'd blame it solely on the two people I'm growing, but they shouldn't have to take ALL the blame...their Mommy is a night-owl.
I've certainly toned it down since having kids.
Before Cale, Tim and I would be up until 1 or 2am playing games or watching tv and I'd sleep until 11am.
(I can't myself think on it too long or else I'll start to yearn.... ;)
As it is, I would LIKE to say that I try to get in bed by 10:30p. To have this accomplished I need to start getting ready at 10p...which rarely happens. For awhile, I had my phone alarm set to 10p and continue to ring every 10 minutes to produce guilt. I gave up on that because it rarely worked.
However, mentally the goal is still lights out by 10:30p, but it rarely happens.
For goodness sakes, Project Runway doesn't finish recording until 10:30!! :)
So...with my late nights and my body working overtime, after lunch, I choose to join the boys in taking a nap.
Napping. OH, how I love napping!
I love my pillows, I love my comforter, I love rainy days that make everything dark...I love everything about naptime...so long as I can fall asleep. This generally takes me a good 20-30 minutes, but if I hit the pillow shortly after the boys go down, I have ample time to let my mind wander my forest of thoughts until all is dark.
With today being especially rainy, and the boys sound asleep within minutes, you'd THINK right now I'd be napping...but as I allowed my thoughts to ebb and crash (in the hopes of putting me to sleep), I found my mind wanted to stay awake.
The flow of thoughts went something like this:
"I love my bed...I love when the boys are sleeping...I wonder how much longer I'll be able to get a nap out of Cale when the twins come...Am I really gonna be 16 weeks on Saturday?...I'll only have 20 weeks left!...20 weeks - that's about 5 months...Cale will almost be 4...I can't believe how grown up he is...How old will Megersa be when the twins come home?...How long has he been with us?...It feels like a year already...but we brought him home in March...hey! I think our first "referral anniversary" is coming up...when was it?...November 5th?...What is today, the 4th?...WHOA!...Tomorrow will be one year since we got his referral...Man, he's changed!...so last year at this time, we were preparing to bring home Nester #4, and this year we're preparing for Nesters #5,6!...I wonder if the ultrasound was right...I guess we'll find out Monday...then we can finalize names...but I'm still gonna think of them (obsessively)..."T" and ??...How can I persuade Tim to pick the other one I like best?...Holy Cow, I'm hungry!...I could go for some homemade soup...we have leftover ham...I could make Farmhouse Chowder...I bet we need more ingredients though, I'll have to run to the store....when is Tim getting home?...what time is it?...I guess my mind or belly have decided I'm not gonna get any extra sleep today...I should get up...I should blog about this...it IS funny...and I am funny...yesterday my sister told me that I am." :)