warm FEBRUARY days

This February weather has surprised us. Warm 50s and even 60s?! Crazy!
Our boys are LOVING the warm weather...and going to the park!

soapbox

Tim's gonna laugh at reading the title of this post, I know it.
And I'm certain he knows the real topic I have in mind.
Here it is...and it's definitely a bit of a rant, so be warned.

The other day someone posted this on facebook:
"Pregnant bare belly pics creep me out. It feels like fetal porn to me. Maybe this is just me, maybe I'm in a bad mood."

Read it again if you need to.
Which words jump out to you? Fetal porn, perhaps?
It did to me! Sick, right?
At first I was just slightly annoyed...but as the words rang in my ears I became increasingly aggitated. How could someone write something like this (and let me mention, this person is pregnant herself...AND a nurse!!)? I've never watched porn, but I understand that it is explicit, demeaning, and perverse.
Could this person actually think that lifting off the shirt from your pregnant belly exposes anything more than...a belly?
I think her statement was harsh and discusting. I responded to her post initially with something a tiny bit sarcastic like "sorry to offend you. :)" but then as the day went on I felt like I had to post something else. I think I said something like "...fetal porn sounds a bit harsh to me. Have you ever worn a bikini? I'd venture to say that those people show more skin than someone who is lifting the shirt off their pregnant belly to show the growth of their baby (or babies). :)"
She responded by agreeing that her wording probably was too much, but that 'for the record,' she thinks that a growing belly can be seen just as clearly with the shirt down as with the shirt up.
What if that WERE true!?
Well, that would be a revelation in reducing all kinds of unneccessary skin exposure!!
Women would no longer need to wear skimpy bikinis to show off their stomachs, legs and bottoms, and they'd never need to wear a low-cut top to expose their bouncing cleavage!
Problem solved!!! Awesome! ;)

Maybe I have dwelled on this too much, but it rubbed me the WRONG way. For those words to even make sense...fetal porn would have to be some sort of risky ultrasound picture...
And that is grosse to think about.
Needless to say, I don't agree on the statement, and for extra zing...here's me at 30 weeks:

I still can't believe how much my belly has stretched...and there's more to come!

BEDREST (part 2)

Okay, where did I leave off?

We were waiting for a room to be admitted into...

Yes. So, we got a room and they set me up in a real bed.

At this point I think they took off the boys monitors and said they'd just be monitoring them

every 4 hours or so. The contraction monitor was to remain on for the duration of my stay in the hospital.

I think dinner was sent up, and I kept thinking how I wished we were back at CDH (Central DuPage Hospital where I delievered Cale....WOW they had awesome food, a flat screen tv mounted to the wall and brand new everything. We were spoiled, I realize...).

Anyway, at least we had a television and the bed was comfty enough.

A neonatologist came in to talk to us. She was very informative and kept telling us "she didn't want to see our babies yet!" I have read SO much about preemies (partly fearing I may be a preemie mom, and partly because I like to have all the information I can for what I'm going through). I can't remember if she told me anything I didn't already know, but it was mostly new info to Tim. She told us survival rates were good at this point, but the babies could have trouble with their lungs, hearts, brains, eyes...well, alot of stuff. She said that each day they spend inside would be several less days in the NICU. 32+ weeks was a much safer time to deliver! ;)

We waited to see my OB until pretty late that night. It seemed like each nurse that came in to had some trouble keeping both boys on the monitor for 20 minutes. It took them quite a bit of time to find both their heartbeats (they move CONSTANTLY!) and then keeping them in one spot for 20 minutes. I swear my stomach was gelled and exposed for 2 days!

A few times they'd come in and say "do you feel that contraction?" Nope. I'm really not good at knowing if it is a contraction or the boys moving.... Seems kinda silly NOT to know though...

But, after the doc came and said it was best to stay overnight and the rest of the next day (because the steroid shots for the baby's lungs had to be 24 hours apart), I figured there was no point in arguing. I was pretty wiped out by the time Tim left for home. I quickly fell asleep around 10pm, but was woken up almost every hour or two for one thing or the other:

Medication to stop contractions

Empty IV bag (and IV monitor beeping)

Medication for the baby's heart and lungs

blood pressure check

monitoring the boys (which was suppose to be 20 minutes, but took over an hour each time)

Honestly...it was a nightmare. I got a total of 1 1/2 hours of sleep. Broken. Sleep. I remember that at one point in the middle of the night (around 4am) I asked my nurse if I could have something to help me sleep. She said she could ask the doctor, but what they usually prescribe is something that would knock me out until lunch and she didn't think he'd give it to me then.

What's the difference, I thought. I'd be stuck in bed until after dinner at the earliest....

But I didn't get anything, and didn't sleep anymore after that.

In the morning after the nurse change I was thrown through a loop. My new nurse wasn't the friendliest of people... She did take notice that I was exhausted and pumped some Benadryl in my IV (which helped me to sleep for another hour or so).

By the way, that was the only thing they used my IV for (which is annoying, because those things hurt so bad!!)

I spent most the morning with the lights off and my eyes closed hoping for sleep. But around lunchtime I figured I could use a shower. Tim was home with the boys, so I asked my friend Alicia (who has been extrodinary during these past 2 weeks) to bring me some clean clothes and hang out for a bit after she finished up work.

We chatted for about an hour, she left, and then I think I took a quick nap before Tim brought the boys over to see me.

NOTE: my boys did fine. I'm not sure they really even noticed I was gone...but honestly, I was a mess! It felt like my arms were chopped off...they are such a part of me that I just wasn't sure what to do without them. Yes, it was technically only 2 days, but I kept wondering how I'd cope if I was here long term!! I knew they were being well cared for (by Daddy and friends) but again, I needed my arms!!

Cale thought it was great to sit on my hospital bed with me and eat his chicken nuggets while watching TV. Megersa was confined mainly to the stroller but didn't seem to be bothered by his new surroundings. Cale asked about the IV and the "jelly" on my belly. He was scared to hear the baby's heartbeats so loud (whomp, whomp, whomp)...so the nurse turned the volume down.

I felt better seeing them, but I think they may have hurt my case a little bit. When the doctor came to examine me again (and decide if I could go home) she took a glance at my wild children (who were now becoming increasingly bored by the confinement of the room) and asked about help. She reminded me that I was going to be on strict bedrest. It seemed like she wanted to know if I knew who were gonna watch my children. ...and made sure I stayed off my feet.

So, I fudged the story a bit saying we had people lined up (though a plan to accomplish that was in the works...), and despite her advice to stay another night, I insited I'd be fine to go home.

They can't MAKE you stay at the hospital...

So, 27 hours after arriving, I was on my way home. :)

BEDREST...how I got here. (part I)

Where have I been recently?

Sitting or laying around...

and being forced to do so. :(

As of Jan 31st, I've been ordered to finish the rest of this pregnancy on bedrest.

I still feel like this all came out of nowhere and I'm having my share of trouble complying with the decision...

Here's the story:

Last Monday, Tim and I got the opportunity to go to my High Risk OB appointment alone! Kinda like a mini date. :) We planned to go to Red Lobster afterwards while we took advantage of free babysitting.

The appointment was at 2pm, and luckily we were able to get in right away (you know how waiting rooms go!). Per routine the Ultrasound Tech started on the belly, and we could see boys moving around on the monitor. She measured their "giant" heads, legs, hearts, arms...everything. It's always a beautiful experience to see your children from the inside out. The boys looked great! Thad (baby A) measured in at 2 lbs, 12 oz, and Shepherd (baby B) is showing to weigh 3 lbs! Their weights indicated they were in the 54th and 67th percentile (and this was in comparison to singletons)!!

Starting at week 24 the doctor ordered the fFN test and a transvaginal ultrasound to see if my cervix was shorting. (Perhaps this is too much information, but it's the key ingredient to the recipe of my bedrest.) Last month my cervix was 37 cm (where they like it to be at least 30 cm) and it presented itself as closed tight. Great news for 6 months.

A WHOLE different story at 7 months.

The u/s tech did what she needed to and basically stopped short. She called attention to the doctor (who was just a few feet from her). We heard alot of "uhhhs and oohs" and I wasn't sure what I was looking at. Last month the scan looked like a long paperthin line among blurriness on the screen. But last week I saw what looked like a V with little feet nearby. I had no idea what was going on and at first I didn't think anything was wrong. Is that one of the baby's feet? I asked.

It was, and the feet were kicking into the canal. I started laughing. I have nervous laughter...and it's very odd. The tech said she only measured 2mm (basically nothing left) for my cervix and I started laughing more (yes, it's VERY odd). The V seemed to grow as I laughed and they told me to stop because it was like I was 'bearing down.' My laughter quickly turned into crying when the doctor called the hospital talking steriod shots for the babies lungs, bedrest and a possible long hospital stay.

Wait, what?

Why was this happening? Everything was fine. Perfect in fact. Last time I saw Dr. Hodor he told me I would have no restrictions...and that I was doing everything right!

But something changed.

He checked for dilation. He said I was dilated 1 cm.

Dilated already? Was it my fault? I had been to the gym like 6 times since the last visit (I figured I finally had the energy and wanted to maintain some muscle in the last few months.) He said it wasn't anything I did, but that all this probably started happening over the past 2 weeks... I felt no different from the past weeks.

Nevertheless we were sent right over to the hospital. Nervous laughter began again and Tim and I joked about how we should just blow it off and go to Red Lobster first! :)

But when I got there and they hooked me up to monitors, gave me an IV and the first steroid shot, my tune changed again. They were admitting me they told me and started me on terbutaline...medication to stop contractions (which I guess I was having some of). We were in the Triage part of Labor and Delivery for over 2 hours until we were taken to another room. The nurse was nice enough, but with no TV for distraction and no new information given to us, Tim and I just grew silent. He was off and on the phone with people to watch our boys for the duration of the night and updating close family on our situation.