the Y

Growing up, my Mom always took us to the YMCA...affectionately known as the "Y" in our household. I have fond memories of the place: I attended 'Beavers' (aka preschool), took gymnastics, soccer, basketball lessons...went to Day Camp, and worked out with my mom. I can remember taking lunch and eating at the indoor picnic tables 'across the way' from the snack and soda machines! They even had a barber shop where my brother got haircuts when we were really small. I can still map out the place in my head. I'm sure if I strolled in there now, I'd be able to navagate my way around and give you a tour of where I spent alot of my childhood!

Anyway, it's no surprise that Mom is still a 'religious' member of that Y even today.

Well, moving away and getting married (with less cash flow)...and especially having children can move goals like finding time and $$ to join a gym, out the window. And they did. The last year we lived in Illinois I decided to get a pool membership for the Fox Valley Park District. It was a great escape at first...I enjoyed the time I could spend in the pool...getting exercise and being alone, but as time went on, it began to be more difficult. The childcare was not free, so I tried as best I could to go when Tim was home to watch Cale. This would make me feel like I was "on the clock" and needed to be home asap....which was less relaxing. The drive to the gym took 20 minutes, so going back and forth was 40 minutes of my time right there... I kinda got bored with the same routine and didn't look forward to it as I once did. I ended up forcing myself go on days off so that the membership fees wouldn't come out for nothing...

So, when we found out we were moving to MD, I was happy to cancel my membership and Tim was very glad that that $17 per month would be back in our bank account.

He didn't grow up with the fond memories I had that associated around a gym. He didn't care much for working out in the traditional sense. Tim always told me that his "ideal workout (is still probably) playing a pick-up game of basketball a couple times a week"....And that's true, organized sports I think is much more fun than jogging on a treadmill...or outside. But unfortunately, the opportunity doesn't present itself very often.

So, where am I going with this? Back to the Y.

After moving here and settling in with Megersa, the area, the people, and the house...I found myself "venturing out" more than I ever did in IL.

I started looking for local gyms. Before we purchased our second car and were sharing our van (ugh!), I was interested in the closest gym possible...in the hopes that I could walk there with the boys.

Childcare was a MUST. An absolute must. Think about it: My other gym charged $2 per child/per hour for childcare each time we went. Oh, $2? That's not too bad. But think about it - even going 2x a week, adds up to at least $16 a month (extra!). The membership itself was $17, and that was just for the pool! Double the cost.

Now I have 2 kids!!

So, the first thing I'd ask when calling gyms was "Do you have FREE childcare?" If they say no, I say thanks and hang up. Not interested.

Well, I stumble upon a gym that is close. Really close. Walking distance (although by this time we have our second car). Free childcare. ...Looking good so far. I schedule a tour...we all went.

The gym was unimpressively small. Shockingly so, considering they were asking for $69 per month for a family membership! No TVs on the machines (another "must"). The butt kicker was the childcare room. YUCK! It was a kiddie table with chairs, and a few toys pushed up against the wall. "Do you accomadate babies?" I asked. "Sure do!!" was our tour guide's response. Where??!?!? There was no bouncer (though Megersa was out of them), no exersaucer, packnplay, high chair...mat?! Nothin! Asking pretty sarcastically now, I say "Where do you PUT them?" And this was the reply:

(I kid you not.) "Most of our mothers with babies bring them in a car seat or stroller of some sort."

WHAT?! Okay, maybe a mom brings them in that way, but I'm wondering if these mothers know their children stay in them the whole time! YIKES!!! by the way, Cale wasn't even interested in staying there...we asked him "do you wanna play here for a little while?" NO.

So, needless to say, we threw the 1 week trial card in the garbage and I continued my search...

This is getting a little long, I realize...I'll try to speed it up:

I met a new friend. She and I just "clicked." You know how certain people just "click" together? Well, I think we did. Our personalities are very similar, and apart from her not liking sweets (seriously!! ;), we get along great!

So, this friend WORKS at the YMCA. And she tells me that families can apply for scholarships for memberships. Really? Who knew! I mean, that would be awesome! I set up an appointment to check it out. We all went. Everyone was impressed. Awesome, free childcare (for members)...2 hours PER DAY. A gymnasium for basketball, a workout room with many elipticals, treadmills, stationary bikes and rowers WITH tvs. An indoor track, 3 pools, private locker rooms, racketball courts, and several 'studios' for aerobics, ect. WOW! They continued our tour and showed us the preschool, youth, and school-aged rooms. This was awesome.

We were sold. Well...almost. The price for a family membership is $74/month. Not terrible considering what you get, but still...that's alot of money.

But, like my friend stated, there was a scholarship we could apply for. And we did. Right before we went on vacation to NC. We were told it would take up to 4 weeks to process it, but, by the time we got home, the approval letter was in the mail!

We got a 75% scholarship to the "Y." Everything mentioned above for only $19 a month!!

Thank you Lord!

We have truly enjoyed it! The kids like playing together in the safe, fun, "playroom" with lovely caregivers (2 of whom Cale has a crush on)...and we enjoy spending time working out. Watching TV without someone standing in front of the screen. Sweating up a storm and then showering without someone asking if they can "come in." Lap swimming then relaxing in the whirlpool. And that's just the beginning. My mom's coming to visit in a week and she COULD NOT BE HAPPIER that we have joined the Y. See, memberships are transferrable. She can use our Y and we can use hers when we go there. She is already talking to me about all the classes she takes and wants me to try. So, I'm sure in a few weeks I'll have another blog post about the wonder of organized classes (unless I hate it. :). It's been great.

I've been told that there is also a scholarship for preschool. I intend to get on that stat.

10

Megersa is 10 months old!
So, in honor of that, I thought I'd state 10 things about him that you may or may not know:

1. Megersa can sleep from 8:30-6:30a, wake up for a bottle, talk for awhile and then go back to sleep until 9am (or later sometimes!)....Today, I had to WAKE HIM UP at 11am.
2. Megersa is fearless in the bath. He will put his head down and stick his face in the water. (Is it an accident?...is he drinking it? trying to blow bubbles?? I'm not sure...)
3. He is NOW finally starting to get a handle on this solid food stuff. He still refuses most things, but yesterday he ate baked beans without a fuss! His list of solid, un-pureed foods he will eat is now up to about 6 items: puffers, cheerios, baked beans, veggie straws, pickles, and breaded items.
4. He has 4 teeth (as of 10 months, 3 days)...two on top, two on bottom.
5. He responds pretty well to being told "no, no!" and then if he obeys, and we praise him, he'll clap for himself (unassisted). Though, if Daddy corrects him, he'll stop - but not without pushing out his poochy-lip as far as it can go! (I guess he knows Daddy's a sucker.... ;)
6. These words are used by others to describe his temperment: easy-going, shy, passive, content, quiet, mellow...and happy.
7. Megersa LOVES to drink out of a regular cup. He'll lunge for it if it's within reach (regardless of who has it) and grab for it with two hands! If someone's not helping him, he'll dump it all down his chest while "drinking."
8. At his 9-month check-up he weighed 18 lbs, 8 oz...and was measured at 29 inches.
9. I think it's safe to say he loves both Tim and I equally. If either of us call his name (or look in his direction with interest), he will take that as an invitation to crawl over and pull himself up to standing, then reach his arms out for us to pick him up. It's pretty dang cute actually.
10. Megersa can say Mama and Dada. Tim and I will swear he we've hear him say "hi" and "hey" too.

He's one crazy baby. I still can't believe he's 10 months old already. It's still irks me to the core that I don't know his ACTUAL birthday...but I'm sure in time, I will let it go. :)
Until then, though, I'll go out on a limb and agree that he is actually getting that much closer to 1 year old. Not a "baby baby" anymore...toddlerhood is approaching faster and faster. Trying to savor each moment is hard when he's crusing through milestones at top speed.

in his belly.

Last week I had a friend over our house for a cut and color.
Doing people's hair is a great time to get to know them better. But...when Cale's around, he takes charge of the conversation, and Mommy's friends become Cale's BEST friends.

His day consists of talking...And asking questions...And talking loud...And asking personal questions....
This particular day Cale was talking to said friend about her baby.
Unaware of how they got into this particular part of "babyhood," I was caught off guard when Cale asked her if she had a baby in her belly. (This friend's baby is 4 months old.)
"No. My baby was in my belly, but now she's out."

What?!? I don't recall talking to Cale about how babies grow in a Mommy's belly. He hasn't really been in contact with many pregnant people, so I'm not sure we had that conversation yet!! I hope he doesn't go around asking people if they have a baby in their belly...
That could be awkward if he gets it wrong again........especially with a stranger. ;)
But, at any rate, it came up, and my friend and I found it amusing.

So, apparently putting 'two and two together' Cale solved our family puzzle.
Would you like to see how the peices were put together?

Here's how it went down:
"Mommy, do you have a baby in your belly?"
No, buddy. I don't. You were in my belly, but now you're out.
"Oh, okay."
You were a baby, but now you're a big boy.
"Mommy. I have a baby in my belly."
(taken by surprise and laughing silently) You do?? So you're going to give me a grandson?
(confused) "What?"
What is in your belly, buddy?
"Mommy....Megersa's in my belly. And now he's out. Megersa's my baby."
He's your brother.
"Yes, he's my baby brother."

:) Well, I can't argue the parting line, that's for sure.
This kid talks non-stop. I have been told on more than one occasion by different people who have been around Cale or babysat him...that they "don't know how I do it" (meaning stay sane with Cale's constant non-stop talking/questions). And to be honest, I'm not sure how I do it sometimes. The kid narrates his life. There are periods of time where he drives me crazy, but then others, like these, are just hilarious.

brothers

Alright...almost 4 months in. Where do we sit with the bonding?

Well, I'd say - "pretty darn good." :)

And I'm happy to say, the once only child of our family is now MORE THAN HAPPY to have someone else in the limelight (most of the time anyway...).

Cale is in love with Megersa.

It's hard not to, I'll give him that...but for someone who seemed to have deemed himself "King of the Castle" I was prepared for the bonding to take a bit longer....

But, Cale totally digs him. Especially now that Megersa is crawling, Cale will ask to play with him all. the. time. If Megersa is in the high chair, Cale will say "Mommy, can you get him out, so he can crawl with me?" He loves getting in his crib with him too. Cale carries him around (or pulls his feet - with my permission, when Megersa is too close to the steps) and hugs him without prodding! Both their faces light up like Christmas when they see each other. It's adorable!!

Observing them, shows and reinforces to me that love can come from anywhere. Cale has no idea that Megersa isn't his biological sibling (he's just now realizing that "Megersa is brown. What color am I?")- but it doesn't matter in the slightest. He just loves him. He's told me on more than one occasion "Mommy, I love Megersa. I don't want him to go away..." It's very touching....

I will be honest in saying that because I've experienced both a child from my body, and a child from adoption, the bonding process IS more difficult with the latter. I know that each day the attachment becomes more and more fierce...it was just hard getting there. That may make me sound like aweful.

...I had and still sometimes have trouble bonding with him?!

That's terrible!

Well, it sometimes feels terrible...but I have to remind myself that even God has chosen to love us...at all times. And, hey, look at our spouses! Was it always love at first site? (Maybe for some of you), but for me..not exactly. ;) Tim and I often reminisce and sometimes laugh at my first impression of him, and how it was certainly a work-in-progress from our first meeting, to where we are now.

I CANNOT tell you a man I love more than my Tim. It's not even a competition...but it didn't happen overnight. :)

Bonding takes time. It takes effort. It's a self-sacrifice that I struggle with each day (and not just for Megersa...I find myself having to choose to love Cale, and even Tim sometimes!!). :) I feel so blessed to have a family that helps me grow. Growing isn't easy, and I'm sure the process has been hard on Megersa too...but I think I can say with confidence that I've noticed he is learning to love and trust US more and more each day as well....

But...my boys: These two made a quick discovery that life is better when the other is around... It's been like watching a friendship unfold. The awkwardness, jealousy, and fear of the other is no longer present, and it's melted down to care, laughter, and love. It makes me tear up sometimes to catch those tender moments...

Cale has the gift of making Megersa laugh with the littlest amount of effort. He can say "buh, buh, buh" and my Goob will bust a gut! What tickles Megersa's funny bone the most, though, is when Cale jumps for him.

Yep...just jumping. Especially when the Goober is in his Johnny jump - the two of them could probably jump and laugh until they poop their pants (which has happened more than once).

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this, but Cale is a sensitive little guy. Tim and I can control his emotions with the tone of our voice...which is good AND bad. But, with that, he saves some of his greatest concern for Megersa. His empathetic eyebrows crinkle up and the exclamations and accusations fly..."oh no, Megersa!...he's getting too close to the steps!...he's crying!...he's got a boo-boo!" I feel like we reassure Cale just as much as we reassure Megersa when he cries. It's sweet...and a little much at the same time. :)

So, is it all sunshines and lollipops?

Well, not always, no...but for the most part, yes.

Just the other night though, the boys were in the kitchen (this was very close to bed-time, mind you), and they were playing with crackers.

Well...Megersa was playing, Cale was eating...and the next thing we hear is "boom...and waaaahhhh!"

"WHAT HAPPENED?"

Without having seen it, we assume the culprit...the one with the guilty eyes. Ugh.

But, normally, like I said before...usually, they are happy as clams to be together.

And that makes Mommy's life much easier..... :)

So, I'm happy to report that the two of them are certainly 'brothers' now. Sure, "technically" it happened on Jan 27, 2010...but emotionally, it happened somewhere in these last few weeks at home. :)

early Father's Day present

I decided that we'd celebrate Father's Day early.

As you know, we are going on Nester Beach Vacation in 1 week and 1 day!! YAY!

We're all so very excited, and we'll be gone from the 12th-19th. We'll most likely get back late Saturday night, and then Sunday will just be a crazy day of unpacking and adjusting to non-vacation life. So, with that, I decided it would be much easier to celebrate now. PLUS, I couldn't WAIT to show the video I had been working on for weeks! I finally finished it and showed Tim yesterday! I think it's pretty dang cute, so hopefully you'll enjoy it too.

Tomorrow Tim and I are going out on a date, and I'll have the boys give their Daddy a present. But I think we'll save one present and his card for actual Father's Day. :)

The day itself is important.

up, up, and away!

This morning when Megersa finally woke up (around 9am...yep, it was awesome!), I went into his room. I gave him a bottle, which he quietly drank in his crib, and started putting away his clothes.

Cale was asking me a million questions about who knows what...as usual.

Cale wakes up with energy level 10....

Anyway, I think it was about 5-10 minutes later when Megersa was done with his bottle, he got himself to a sitting position and smiled at me. I smiled back at him. He seemed happy enough to watch me clean up his room, so I continued.

The next time I turned around, here he was:Standing. VERY happy with himself (as evidenced above). :)

I can't believe it! He's not a little baby anymore! I fear the next time I turn around he'll be cruising around the furniture...then standing alone, then walking!!!

Think that's a crazy thought?

In the past few weeks, he started crawling, figured out how to get from laying to sitting, and now he's pulling himself up. Ahh!!

Stay a baby a little longer...would you, Megersa?!?! :)

All Gone!

Remember how I said that Megersa had a "nervous tick?"
It's gone!! :)
YAY!

He no longer rubs his elbow on surfaces when I:
wipe his face after eating...
change his diaper...
put lotion in his hair...
try to feed him new things...

He must be feeling much more comfortable here.
And that makes everyone happy!